Well, "Wonder Gadget" was tried, but the soil was too bloody wet (it has been a bit moist here lately) - bah!
Wonder Gadget
Hi Ho.
At least the visit wasn't a complete loss:
An Allotment Obsession (I'm sure it can't be healthy)
Method:
Make them in the same way as normal doughnuts but forget to put the sugar in.
There you have it. Even trying just the tiniest bit "just to see" will leave the most gaggingly foul taste in your mouth for the rest of the day.